Domestic violence, also known as intimate partner violence, can happen to anyone, regardless of age, gender, race, sexual orientation, economic status, branch of service, or rank, and has lasting negative health impacts.
Those experiencing domestic violence may be reluctant to discuss their circumstances due to fear of retaliation, judgment by others, or embarrassment.They may feel trapped, anxious, or even blame themselves. Regardless of what the abuser may say to maintain control or exert power, victims of domestic violence are never at fault for their partner's behavior, and no one deserves to be abused.
Recognizing the signs of domestic violence and knowing the available support resources can be lifesaving for you or someone you know.
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence is abusive behavior that occurs between current or former intimate partners including spouses, domestic partners, people that identify as couples, sexual partners, or casual dating partners.
Domestic violence can take on many forms including:
- Physical violence: hitting, pushing, grabbing, squeezing, yanking, biting, choking, shaking, or slapping
- Sexual violence: exploitation, attempted or actual sexual contact without consent
- Threats of violence: words, looks, or gestures to control, intimidate, or frighten
- Stalking: following, harassing, or electronic tracking that causes fear
- Cyber abuse: threatening, controlling, or harassing a partner via technological mediums
- Psychological aggression: using insults, name calling, belittling, intimidating, humiliating, or threats of violence to pets or loved ones
- Controlling behaviors: financial control, isolation from friends and family
Domestic violence should never be a part of any caring and loving relationship.
What are the Risk Factors and Warning Signs for Domestic Violence?
Risk factors that increase the likelihood of domestic violence include high levels of stress, financial challenges, substance misuse, and difficulty managing anger. Personal and/or family history of domestic violence, combat or non-combat related traumatic brain injury, posttraumatic stress disorder, depression, and other psychological health concerns can also increase risk. It is important to note however, that these risk factors do not excuse the presence of domestic violence in a relationship.
Warning signs of a partner that may be more likely to commit domestic violence include when a partner demonstrates:
- Isolating a person from friends and family
- Threats of violence
- Physical aggression (like breaking objects or punching walls)
- Unreasonable jealousy
- Controlling behavior (including emotional and/or financial control)
- Cruelty to animals
- Abrupt mood changes
If you notice these behaviors in someone, encourage them to speak with a mental health care provider, only if you feel that it is safe to do so, and develop your own safety plan .
What Can I Do About Domestic Violence?
Understanding the signs of an abusive relationship can help you stay safe and assist others. Some possible red flags that may indicate someone is in a relationship where domestic violence exists:
- Unexplained physical injuries such as bruises or marks
- Statements or actions that indicate the person is fearful of their partner or trapped in their relationship
- Social isolation, withdrawal from usual activities, or increased absences from work or commitments without explanation
- Frequent and/or threatening phone calls made to the person by their partner
If you or someone you know is suffering from domestic violence, please visit the Military OneSource Installation Locator to find the Family Advocacy Program nearest you, or use the Domestic Abuse Victim Advocate Locator. Call 911 if you are in immediate danger of assault or physical injury. If you are on a military installation, call your military law enforcement office. For more safety information, see Real Warriors Campaign article: 5 Tips for Staying Safe in an Abusive Relationship.
Additional Resources:
Sources:
- Brem, M. J., Florimbio, A. R., Grigorian, H., Wolford-Clevenger, C., Elmquist, J., Shorey, R. C., Rothman, E. F., Temple, J. R., & Stuart, G. L. (2019). Cyber Abuse Among Men Arrested for Domestic Violence: Cyber Monitoring Moderates the Relationship Between Alcohol Problems and Intimate Partner Violence. Psychology of violence, 9(4), 410–418. https://doi.org/10.1037/vio0000130
- Kaukinen, C. (2020). When stay-at-home orders leave victims unsafe at home: Exploring the risk and consequences of intimate partner violence during the COVID-19 pandemic. American Journal of Criminal Justice, 45(4), 668–679. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12103-020-09533-5
- Kwan, J., Sparrow, K., Facer-Irwin, E., Thandi, G., Fear, N. T., & MacManus, D. (2020). Prevalence of intimate partner violence perpetration among military populations: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 53, Article 101419. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.avb.2020.101419
- Leemis, Ruth W. et al. (2022). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey : 2016/2017 Report on Intimate Partner Violence. CDC National Center for Injury Prevention and Control (U.S.), Division of Violence Prevention. https://stacks.cdc.gov/view/cdc/124646
- Stewart, D. E., MacMillan, H., & Kimber, M. (2021). Recognizing and Responding to Intimate Partner Violence: An Update. Canadian journal of psychiatry. Revue canadienne de psychiatrie, 66(1), 71–106. https://doi.org/10.1177/0706743720939676
Updated July 2024